Laughs at a Two Drink Minimum

Did the gods answer our calls? Two comedy clubs opening in Stamford? How the F did this slip past the crack Stamford blog team! After a nice run of scooping the Advocate she raised her mighty hand slapped us back.

From the sound of it, these are less stand alone clubs and more "events". To Catch a Rising Star will be hosted at the Marriott Hotel (the ugly one by the mall) Treehouse will share space with the Ancient Order of Hibernians Hall. I'd prefer a dedicated club like some of the ones in NYC, but this is a good start.

Stand in the place that you live, think about direction...

I've always enjoyed JR's posts on Mr. Stamford so I'm happy to see he busted out on his own with Streets of Stamford.

I have to offer a slight rebuttal to his Blanford post though (with all the fellow blogger love I can muster brother). I think complaining about Stamford being boring is actually more boring than Stamford at this point.

If someone thinks their town is boring, I would ask what are they doing about it? Are you waiting for a corporation or your government to come in and entertain you or are you starting clubs, or leagues, or events yourself?

A savvy business person might move in to fill a market, but its a big step to think some quote unquote "interesting people" will want to move to a place you think isn't interesting and change it. Thats a lot of steps, skip a couple and you be that person.

Contrast this with an article about the success of the Fairfield County Happy Hour Club in today's Advocate. Guy moves to the area, thinks its hard to meet people and in a year has a group of 700 wanting to meet him out. Another example, some guys wanted a better place to practice their hobby and successfully lobbied the city to build a skate park.

Hell, there must be a market for at least half the stuff on the wish lists we run off. The ultimate step here would be to start a business that caters to one of these ideas. Anyone down for a career change? I don't think Stamford would miss one more Marketing person.

New Park & Trails in Shippan

Olin Partnership, the firm responsible for the Mill River Park master plan also has a project underway at Harbor Plaza, a corporate park peninsula in Shippan. Harbor Plaza is famous as the establishment shot stand in for the Dunder Mifflin Stamford branch in NBC’s The Office. The project will work to shore up deteriorating shoreline and provide a new waterfront park and walking trails around the peninsula.

From Olin's site.

Harbor Plaza is an existing corporate campus on an 18-acre peninsula overlooking the Stamford Harbor. The intention of Olin Partnership’s redesign is to respond to both the needs of the daily users of the campus as well as to the sensitivities of over 4,000 feet of deteriorating shoreline. The first step toward this goal calls for a formalized entryway into the campus and enlivened entrances at each campus building. The result is an overall reduction of hardscaped surfaces, including the expansion and renovation of an existing public park on the peninsula’s northwestern point and the removal of a concrete parking structure to make way for a new park with expansive views to the Harbor. The reintroduction of native maritime plants along the shoreline will assist in the prevention of future erosion and work as a natural filtration system. New walking trails will wind their way along the shoreline, connecting the adjacent neighborhood to the campus and the newly expanded park, as well as to the marina docks. Throughout the site, new views and access to the water’s edge are created for the enjoyment and use of Harbor Plaza’s occupants and the surrounding community.

Stamford’s waterfront is definitely one of it’s most underutilized assets. It’s encouraging to see projects that mix environmental restoration with increased public access.

Stamford Summer Bar Tour [16] - Brickhouse

If you are like me, and didn't grow up in Stamford, chances are you probably haven't seen the inside of the Brickhouse on Bedford St. I smuggled in a camera to give you a closer look. Enjoy!

An Inordinate Number of the Statues Have Mustaches

Checking Marilyn's undercarriage is no longer the greatest indignity the statues have endured this summer. The mustachioed cop stationed at Greyrock & Broad has been stolen!

Not totally surprising. That wooded, unlit corner is pretty shady. So where do you think he is? Being melted for scrap? In the river? Being forced to pose for far too many camera phone pics with a joint to his mouth in some dudes apartment? Keep your ear to the ground.

Livin' in a Walker's Paradise

WalkScore, a website that promotes walkable communities, ranks my downtown Stamford neighborhood “a walkers paradise”, 94 out of 100. The site assigns a score by measuring the distance of your home to various amenities. The system is somewhat flawed, I am here to tell you I have never purchased groceries at Nikita’s Value Mart. Cat statues? Sure. Groceries. No.

We’ve spent a good amount of bits and bytes bitching about the downtown and no doubt there is serious work that needs to be done, but I do think not enough credit is given sometimes to what we do have now. For the last few nights in a row I’ve had a good time bouncing around downtown after work and probably accounts for my lack of posting in the last few weeks.

If you’re looking for something to do downtown this week, I recommend Man on Wire at the Avon.

The Don of Stamford

Don Russell columnist for the Stamford Advocate has a great editorial today on Stamford downtown, tracing the ups and downs since WWII and making the case for continued growth.

I always Don's columns he has a great sense of prespective and an encyclopedia like knowledge of local history. With downtown developments irking certain residents calling for a return to how Stamford was, Don can ask them just exactly when are talking about. Was it this:

While the debate on the pros and cons of redevelopment was in full swing the city proper was deteriorating. Atlantic Street looked like a war zone. Buildings that lined the street, stores at street level and apartments or offices above, were fallow for so long that the owners razed them to reduce their tax payments.

Then there was the "running away" from the downtown. Parking was an issue. The downtown business establishments were being replaced by shopping centers and strip malls in the outlying areas of the city. Many of the downtown merchants moved their businesses to the shopping centers.

Sounds great! Downtown blight & strip malls. My original rant on the subject.

Ritz Delayed

According the the FD Rich site, construction on the Ritz Carlton project will not commence until 2009. This is a delay from the original late 2008 start. Demo on the strip of stores was completed months ago, now waiting as an all too familiar hole. The city has given the go ahead, I wonder if the delay is due to financing or if they are waiting to see how Stamford's luxury market pans out.

I never saw this angle of the proposed buildings before. The parking garage really butts up against a significant portion of one of the St. John's Towers. I'm not sure what a good idea it is to block out the sun for half a building already known for being somewhat run down. One can't image that doing anything to help the atmosphere. The pride people take in their home has a tangible impact on the physical plant of any building and is probably even more the case in low income housing.

It'd be interesting to see what the Ritz project would look like if it included the parcel the tower sits on. They could perhaps add a third tower on that corner. The below market rate units could be replaced one for one onsite or off and the city would not have a significant chunk of it's low income housing buried by a parking garage.

Last Call for Curb Extensions

Last chance to put your two cents in on Stamford's citywide traffic calming plan. Check out this map to view the proposed treatments in each section of town. (The map is in a grid that you can enlarge in manageable sections)

I've requested a look at more bike lanes, particularly ones that connect different city nodes. Maybe your passion is chicanes or textured pavement.

People You Meet on Your Day Off

Every year I usually take my birthday in August off. It doesn't feel right working on your birthday and is a nice consolation to no longer getting lots of gifts or crazy parties. (If you're over 12 and you are throwing yourself a birthday party celebrating a year not ending in 0 or an age marker after which the government deems it legal for you to purchase alcoholic beverages you're a loser.)

Random weekday. Everyone you know is at work. I'll admit there is always a feeling of "maybe I should have thought this out more". After I blast Cracker's "Happy Birthday to Me" a few times, I'm usually at a loss of where to go with it. This year I managed an an eventful morning, but around 2p headed back to the CTW to wait for everyone to finish work and buy me diner. The next several hours I generally spent the day like a homeless person wandering the streets, visiting the library, and walking through Target without buying anything. During this time I was reminded that there are whole segments of the population I never have an substantial dealings with as a 20 something, white guy office drone trapped in the corporate embrace during daylight. Here are a few of those groups.

Teenagers: I hate teenagers. Everyone hates teenagers though so I don't feel bad. Children hate them, the elderly, I'm sure you parents do too. Hell, even teenagers hate themselves. Goofy looking bastards. I forgot how little I actually see them. If anything I only hear them lurking in the shadows of a dark movie theatre. If at night they are voices in the dark, during the day they travel down the sidewalks and through the malls in amorphous blobs, large slow moving packs stumbling from one direction to the next, impossible to maneuver around. Beware being swallowed by the blob, escape is futile. I blacked out after being engulfed crossing Tresser and woke up in a diner a week later.

Moms: I know I have a number of mommy bloggers out there, so I pose the question to you. Are you blind, cruel, or too lazy to tie a knot when you make your kids where Crocs? These are innocent children, they don't know how lame these things really are. And what has happened to the caliber of bully in our nation that they have allowed this trend to infect the youth of America. Let me get this straight, kids can walk our schools and camps with impunity wearing brightly colored, plastic clogs with holes in them?! Where are the Nelson Muntz' of the world to right this wrong! In my day, you could be crucified for a fashion faux pas as simple as the loop on the back pleat of button-down shirts. Or as it was more affectionately known...

Civil Servants: Is there anyone more rigid, lacking common sense, and slow to move than someone in the employ of local government? I'm not talking about anyone in power, just anyone working a desk or phone.

Senior Citizens: I tend to cut some slack here. If an old person pisses me off, I just imagine them as someone's grandparent and move on. You don't want anyone hassling your grandpa or grandma right? If they have access to a computer and post on Topix, you can maybe make an exception.

It is almost enough to make you glad to return to work.

Craic Money

If you complete this customer satisfaction survey you can get a $20 gift card to Tigin.

By the way, I'm looking to do a cap off to the bar tour that you are all invited to. Any ideas on a venue?

Stamford Summer Bar Tour [15] - Hula Hank's

Ah, Hula Hanks, back alley brother to Black Bear. Same owner, interchangeable staff, and I’m even pretty sure a shared kitchen. Shark Bites… Bear Bites… who you fooling. (Joey K, am I right?)

Hula Hanks is your friend who always has a crazy night you hear about never participate in.

“Dude, did I tell you about Thursday? Jack Nicholson & I rode around in a spaceship and hooked up with some unicorns!” Meanwhile, whenever you hang out with him its pounding Millers and talking about Lost.

Sure Hula has a stripper pole on the bar and a swing, but I’ve never seen them used. Then again, I’ve only really been there for Happy Hours when the place is stocked with a couple random groups of awkward businessmen. Maybe night fall brings out the super orgy porno party. At that point I’m usually turned away by the cover. God I hate the bar cover that offers one nothing more than the privilege of walking in the door and red stamp reminder you can ponder during a hangover. I’m no anthropologist, but refusal to pay covers is obviously some sort of evolutionary vestige of one’s college days. Other once import survival traits may have faded, I may start yawning around 12 but dammit I can’t shake the cheapness of being pissed about putting down $5 without being handed a beverage in return at a bar. It’s less the price though as it is making a commitment to endure whatever potential suck lies beyond those gates for a period of time deemed by the group comparable to the cover price. Of course you can always turn from the door at first word of a cover but one must weigh the possible shame incurred in front of one’s peers in taking this course of action. If you’re quick on your feet, that can easily be countered though by acting in some exaggerated way how cool you suddenly realize you are for the joint (even after waiting in line) and dismiss the thought of paying to enter this dump (that less than seconds ago you were excited about).

Stay funky Hula Hanks.

Stamford Summer Bar Tour [14] - Tiernan's

Not too Hard, Not too Soft

Why does it have to take some Motown Philly to kick The City That Works nightlife into high gear?

Stamford Summer Bar Tour [13] - Colony Grill

Colony Grill. Everyone agrees this East Side dive has the greatest fucking pizza ever. Captain America is throwing the dough and Santa Claus is pouring the beer. The hot oil is Jesus' sweat. There isn't anything I can say that hasn't already been said. Therefore I'll just tell you about my favorite video game of all time, Zelda: Link's Awakening for the original Gameboy.

The game starts as our hero Link is aboard some boat when a storm hits and fucks everything to hell. All goes black as Link drifts towards his end in the briny deep.

Or so we think. Next thing we know Link wakes up in some chick's bed. Not the first time I'm sure Link you dirty old bastard you. Link is alive and in some one room shack with said chick and her father on a remote island. The girl throws herself at our green tight wearing warrior. Link is tempted but is tells her he kinda has this thing going right now with some Princess and isn't about to throw it away for some trash who shares a one room, one bed dump with her old man. Link grabs his shield and heads out to find out what the deal is. Apparently he needs to wake up some lazy, fat ass fish sleeping up on the mountain if there is any hope of leaving.

This game is a forefather to all encompassing gaming environments like Grand Theft Auto. Along the course of killing dudes to gather up the instruments needed to wake up this stupid fish, there are all kinds of weird side tasks Link can perform like stealing from the general store, walking dogs, making prank calls, fishing, winning a Yoshi doll at the arcade, digging holes in fields, and accosting children throughout town.

Once you've assembled the one man band you head up the hill and play a gig for this beached, comatose fish. The fish wakes up, shakes his dorsal fin and everything around Link begins to disappear. Everything fades to black and Link wakes up out at sea, clutching a plank, playing shark bait as he bakes in the unforgiving sun. Up above the fish flies away. Because a fish who naps on a mountain can also fly. WTF! Either that fish was the biggest dick in the history of portable video game entertainment or I just wasted countless hours that told my mom I was doing homework playing out a dying man's hallucination. Either way a bunch of evil programmers delivered the biggest screw job of a finale on a level the Sopranos ending could never dream of touching.

Stamford Summer Bar Tour [12] - Bradford's

Bradford’s… Bedford’s premiere retractable frontage pub. What to say…

Expensive Bud Light.

One of Stamford’s more favorable guy to girl ratios at 70 – 30. If you didn't go to high school with any of these girls, they are likely to scream "RAPE" should you approach more than a few steps in their general direction.

Electro-Darts that seem to have some dude permanently installed in your way.

Horrible layout that leaves you doing the on your tip toes, beer in the air body slide through the crowd like your some kind of ninja trying not to trip the lasers on the way to infiltrate the bathroom.

Under used upstairs, seldom used back deck (not sure if a fenced in section of the parking lot counts as a deck).

That said, I never seem to have a bad time there.

It's Raining Stuff Redux

Looks like Trump Parc owes the CTW another "My Bad". Mill River Park has a list, buy us a kayak launch and maybe we'll let you back in the house?

Crappy construction/ loose safety doesn't mean a building should not have replaced the bustling pocket park that once stood in it's spot (can sarcasm come across in bits and bytes?), it just means crappy construction/ loose safety.

Freakonomics, a book by economist Steven Levitt writes about how if the punishment of a behavior is not a worse alternative than the behavior itself, you'll actually increase that behavior by providing the offender with a false sense of security for their actions. The city made the developer fund a full time safety inspector, but that doesn't seem to be enough of a deterrent to shoddy work. Hit them in the wallet with LARGE fines for accidents or code violations and watch them disappear fast. Get this figured out now before the same developer starts work on two building even taller than Trump at the Ritz Cartlon site.

And for hopefully the last encore...

Stamford Summer Bar Tour [11] - Dragonfly

One of my first posts debated the supremacy of Dragonfly vs. Castle Grayskull. The Dragonfly edged on account of General Tso Calamari. At the time, I totally forgot though that Point Dread playset could connect to Grayskull and allow the Talon Fighter to land. To my knowledge, a piece of Black Bear cannot detach and unite with the Dragonfly. Retotal... advantage Grayskull.

Dragonfly is also great for the attractive, disinterested waitresses. Call me crazy, but I like a waitress who has better things to do serve us. I’m not talking about, “I’m too busy”, or “we’re understaffed”, just “I could give a shit about giving you a menu". It takes a special type to be able to pull it off. Curly’s for example, hasn’t found the science with their distinerested waitresses.

The beer list is also pretty deep, albeit somewhat pricey. That said you can get a bottle of something brewed by monks studying magic or some shit in the mountains for probably only a buck more than a $5 crack at the "Champagne of Beers" a block over.

If you can mine a woman out of Manford, Dragonfly is not a bad spot to put in your stock date arsenal. It has all the elements to make you seem more cultured than you probably are, interesting food and drink, swanky yet unpretentious vibe & a jazz trio.