Kitchen Nightmares in Stamford

Stamford Talk owns my blog right now.  She updates her site everyday and is super excited about The City that Works whereas my blog is updated intermittently, partly because my supposed co-authors have managed one post between them ("Manford") and partially from the indifference that the grey skies and short days of winter bring.  Stamford Talk also delivered me the scoop on Fox's "Kitchen Nightmares" filming at Sabatiello's this week.   

I design digital ad campaigns for Fox shows, so it was pretty disappointing that one could slip a filming next to the bodega where I buy milk and brillo pads without me aware.  Once I had the info though, I was pretty certain I would get the chance to watch Gordon Ramsay cuss out some shitty waitress in person.  In college my roommate and I successfully broke onto the set of a Beautiful Mind and enjoyed a day of Kraft Service and awkward exchanges of pleasantries with Ron Howard.  (We were only shown the door when I pushed the experience too far and signed up for an onset massage).  Monday I scoped the scene and came back Tuesday with the instructions from the casting director to ask the hostess for a table for two on the second floor.  

I have never been to Sabatiello's before and I'm only loosely familiar with the format of Kitchen Nightmares.  Sabatiello's is an Italian Grille on the corner of Bedford and Forest with a small bar and seating area on the first floor with a larger restaurant section upstairs that doubles as a piano bar/ dance club.  I believe the owner is a regular in any article in the Advocate where the mall plaza is accused of cannibalizing the downtown restaurant scene.  Kitchen Nightmares is a reality show where celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay takes a failing restaurant, curses out the staff, throws a few of his dishes on the menu and is off to the next town like a culinary David Banner.  I'm guessing we were still in the "before" phase of the restaurant transformation since I doubt Gordon Ramsay is partial to disco balls on the ceiling.  Gordon's dishes were a Baked Pasta and Filet Mignon for two.  I was slightly disappointed the guest dishes weren't more exotic, like Skewered Leprechaun or Ground Panda, but the meat sounded tempting and we settled on that and some Caesar salad.  

The upstairs room was freakishly bright with florescent lighting to accommodate filming.  Gordon made a few loops through the dining room looking concerned, but we were robbed of any real drama beyond a woman next to us sending a dish back for being cold.  The waiters were mum, on edge and not really open to giving us a peek behind the curtain.  The main course arrived after almost an hour.  M enjoyed, I didn't think it was anything that blew me away.  Dunn's Loft can slap that meat off the table any day of the week.   

Eating with a camera and boom mic in your face can be jarring.  The second any food is placed on the table a crew descends like you are Britney at a Starbucks.  Suddenly you forget how to use a fork and second-guess how exactly to work a knife.  Every sip of your drink dribbles down your chin.  Conversation becomes painfully stilted. "Do you enjoy stuff?"  "Yes, in particular instances I perhaps take pleasure in partaking in stuff"    

As we were packing up to leave the owner made the rounds to a few tables and he looked like he had been though a few rounds of a fight himself.  We left satisfied knowing that somewhere Gordon was kicking some ass.